Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I'm Back

Wow, I have really been slacking on my blog posts. Time goes by so fast and getting caught up in day to day activities make it go by even faster. Cayle is doing a lot better. She is not on any medicine now. Some of the meds that she was on were working against each other and were making her behavior worse. She is in the 10th grade now and even though she still has her moments she is doing better. She has a hard time with school...friends and work. She still has an pretty bad attitude which is a conflict with most everyone that she comes in contact with. We still spend everyday trying to help her and make things easier on all of us. It's kinda became a habit for me.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Trista's Barn

Trista's Barn

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

More on Cayle

We are having some issues with school and being a "teen", but all in all things are going o.k. Cayle is seeing her PO at least once a week and she is talking to her and opening up which is unusual for her. I think that this has really helped with a lot of the behavior issues and the "I will if I want to" attitude. Being told the consequences by someone with the authority to do something with her has really opened her eyes and helped to make her realize that she has to give it her all to stop acting up and doing things that she is not supposed to do. We are still taking things one day at a time and have a ways to go, but it is always better to go forward. I am so tired and mentally drained, but I know that I have to keep going and keep her focused on getting better and doing what is right. I love her so much and every day is a challenge that makes us both stronger and I pray and keep going.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Looking Up

Cayle is doing so much better. Seems a lot of her "attitude" now is typical of 13 year olds. She is doing well with her therapy and things are looking up.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

What Is ODD?

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

“12 Diseases You May Not Even Know You Have”

Read Suzane's post about  12 Diseases You May Not Even Know You Have


Thursday, April 8, 2010

Just Sitting

What seems to be one of the hardest things to do in dealing with a child with behavior problems is learning to sit and listen rather than to argue back. It is so hard to just sit and listen to your child say hurtful things long enough to let them know that you are not going to say things back. I used to argue back, I used to try to get her to stop saying things, now I sit and listen and really ignore what she is saying. When she sees that I am not going to say anything back she will go on and stop in just a little while and the next thing she does is be nice and say something like "Mama, will you help me with this" or something to that effect. It is hard to learn to do this, but with Cayle it has helped so much.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Trying Times

I would have to say that the most trying times are when Cayle doesn't get her way. If there is something that she wants to do and I tell her that she can't, the non-stop fussing starts. She goes on and on. It is so hard to listen to this and I try not saying anything, I try talking to her,  I try telling her to please stop...nothing helps. She will not stop until she is ready to stop and it is so energy draining.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Guide To Honest Parenting

Click Here





Thursday, March 25, 2010


We had a good visit to the Therapist. Cayle talked a lot more than usual and was a lot nicer than usual. She is going to start a new medicine. We will see how this one does. We are getting ready for a field trip for tomorrow, so I will be back later.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

More Ramblings

The evenings after school have been up and down. We have been trying to keep Cayle busy with doing things and sometimes it works, other times it doesn't. If she is not busy doing something, she is either on the phone or on the computer, both of which we have been trying to eliminate for the most part. trouble seems to find Cayle,so to speak, and we have to be on our toes as not to let things happen that she would let happen. It is not easy and it is mentally as well as physically tiring when you have to be on alert and on guard at the same time for a 13 year old who honestly thinks that she is able to do what she wants to do. She goes back to her therapist on Thursday. There will be some discussion as to her behavior recently and to find out what else is wrong as I know that there is something else there and I spend most of my free time, while she is at school, trying to pin point it. I struggle from day to day, cry everyday and wonder everyday if she will ever get better. I have all the hope in the world, but there is still that thought process as to when things will be better. It is hard for me and I know how hard it is for her. It is so heart breaking for my own child to be so distant from me. I have learned to accept the symptoms and the outcome, but I don't think that I will ever truly get used to it.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Support Group

I am going to start a Support Group for Parents of Children with Behavioral Problems. It is going to be a local group. I have also started an online Support Group @ http://hardroad.ning.com/ Please feel free to join the group. For anyone local who wants to join my Support Group, I will be posting more details soon.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Oppositional Defiant Disorder: the War in your Home

By: James Lehman

When Hunter was a baby, Pat never imagined parenting him would mean becoming stuck in an argument with him lasting 15 years. From the time he was old enough to express himself, it seemed that he was looking to start a fight with her.

"He's a very strong-willed person," says Pat, her polite demeanor belying an obvious understatement. "He's manipulative, and he learned at a very young age how to make that work for him to get what he wanted."

The simplest things always seem to turn into huge problems because Hunter simply refuses to do what he is asked to do, whether it was brushing his teeth at age five, or raking the yard at age 15. The word "no" lights his fuse, especially when in response to something he wants to do. "He's always doing these irritating things," Pat explains, "as if he enjoys bothering you."

Getting out of bed in the morning is the issue around which Hunter and his parents argue the most. "We've had the worst time in the world getting him up in the morning and into the shower. I know this is unbelievable, but he gets in the shower, stretches out in the bottom of the tub with the water beating on him, and goes back to sleep. From that moment on, we have to micromanage his morning to get him to the bus stop."

Recently, Hunter was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and Pat finally has a name for the behavior that's been exhausting her all these years. Now, she needs a solution. How does a parent stop the arguments with a child whose primary way of communicating is arguing?

James Lehman: A day with a child who has Oppositional Defiant Disorder is a series of battles in an undeclared war. It starts when they wake up, continues at breakfast, intensifies when they have to get dressed, and doesn't end until they fight with you over bedtime.

Kids with ODD lose their temper quickly and often. They're easily annoyed and frustrated by other people, resentful and hostile with adults, bossy and pushy with other kids. They blame everyone else for their difficulties and make excuses for their inability to cope. They gravitate toward negative peers and tend to be sulking, angry adolescents.

Unrestricted free time is a breeding ground for aggressive behavior for these children. In an unstructured environment, they become annoying, threatening or destructive to kids around them and to adult authority figures. They will use this time to deliberately antagonize anyone they see as "in charge."

As a parent, you can't satisfy a child with ODD, since their thinking is irrational. They beg for your attention and then want to be left alone. The sad truth is, kids with ODD aren't very likeable. Parents often feel guilty about the fact that they love their kids, but don't like being around them.

Parents get blamed for their child's oppositional behavior and tend to heap even more blame on themselves. The parent of a child with ODD often feels incompetent and isolated. They live with the self-imposed shame that other people think they're bad parents, and that humiliation grows larger as their world gets smaller. Left untreated, Oppositional Defiant Disorder can lead to Conduct Disorder, a more serious pathology that is a precursor for anti-social behavior and criminality.

Of course, for many parents, ODD is not the primary issue. Rather, they are dealing with continuous, low-level defiance that is not incendiary and aggressive, but is aggravating, annoying and disruptive to the family. Whether the defiance has turned into a diagnosis of ODD or has not, the parent's approach should be the same.

How to Stop the War and Restore Peace at Home

Most parents lack the tools to deal with oppositional defiance. So they generally respond to this behavior with a range of responses that includes negotiating, bargaining, giving in, threatening and screaming. The problem is when you scream, argue or negotiate, you are giving your child's defiance even more power.

Everyone from the school psychologist to your mother-in-law will tell you what this child needs is "structure." But no one really shows you what kind of structure and how to put it in place. It's not as easy as giving the child a time out. A child with ODD won't use the time out to change his thinking. He'll use it to plot revenge. Parents have to change their style of parenting and mode of operation with the child.

Children with ODD need structure with an aggressive training component that is built around learning how solve the problems that trigger their defiant behaviors. Your child becomes oppositional when he is confronted with a problem and he can't figure out how to fix it. The problem can be anything from not wanting to get up in the morning (as in Hunter's case) to not wanting to do homework. Screaming at the child to get out of bed won't work. You need to show the child that he has a problem that has to be solved and address it as such. Example: "Lying in bed after your alarm goes off won't solve your problem. It makes you late and you miss the bus. What can you do to solve your problem?"

The focus of treatment should be on developing compliance and coping skills, not primarily on self-esteem or personality. ODD is not a self-esteem issue; it's a problem solving issue. There's no evidence that self-esteem leads to compliance, and emotions are not, in and of themselves, a way to kids to cope with their problems. Kids get self-esteem by doing things that are hard for them.

Children with ODD need a lot of strong praise and support as well as realistic rewards. They don't benefit from a pat on the back for doing something that's easy for them to do. They should be praised for doing things that are challenging to them. Don't create false situations for which to praise them to make them "feel better." Parents need to learn several different parenting styles that meet the needs of this child. You need to be less of a "cheerleader" and more of a trainer and coach.

Avoid senseless power struggles. Pick your battles with your child carefully and win the ones you pick. Many times you can win fights with this child by not arguing back. When you argue with him, his resistance strengthens. Instead of arguing, set limits in a businesslike way and expect compliance.

Have a plan for managing your child's behavior. When you're going to the mall, know what you'll do when he acts out in the car. It's important to lay out the rules ahead of time, when things are calm. For instance, before you go to the mall, tell the child, "When you lose it in the car, it becomes dangerous for me and for everyone because it's distracting. So if you lose it in the car, I'm going to pull over for five minutes, and I'm not going to talk to you. You'll have five minutes to get your act together. If, after five minutes, you have not regained control of yourself, then we're not going to the mall. We're going to turn around and go home. Have a plan you'll use if he throws a tantrum in the store or if he acts out at a family gathering. And be willing to follow through on the plan until the child learns defiance doesn't get him what he wants.

Parents dealing with ODD need a powerful mix of determination and strength. You can have a child with ODD and a peaceful home. The key is to decide: Are you going to change the world for your child or teach him to cope with it? It's not practical or effective to try to change the world for your kid. But by setting limits consistently, concisely and clearly, you will teach your child to cope with the world and succeed in it.

Copyright 2007. EmpoweringParents.com

About the Author

For three decades, behavioral therapist James Lehman has worked with troubled teens and children with behavior problems. His practical, real-life approach to managing children has been taught to parents in private practice and now through The Total Transformation Program, a step-by-step program that teaches James' techniques and helps parents change their children's behavior. www.TheTotalTransformation.com

(ArticlesBase SC #218527)

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/ - Oppositional Defiant Disorder: the War in your Home

Talking To Toddlers - Toddler Behavior Problems

By: Chris Jensen

Toddlerhood is a difficult, exciting, and interesting period of life. Fundamental learning processes develop as the child begins to seek autonomy, explores the world, learns how things work, begins to tolerate limitations, express desires, and develops relationships. It is also the magical time of childhood encompassing the tumultuous twos and the terrific threes. The toddler’s excitement and frustration make this a period of incredible challenge for caregivers, especially as toddler behavior problems begin to arise.

Click Here For Talking To Toddlers Best Deal Now!

Negativism is an expression of the toddler’s constant search for autonomy. The toddler resents being given directions or not being allowed to explore. The toddler delights in doing the opposite of what is asked and responding with a “no” to all requests. As disrupting as negativism can be, another characteristic developing simultaneously is ritualism, or the need to maintain sameness. Rituals or routines provide repetition where the child may gain comfort and security. Disrupting these rituals will make the child experience stress, respond by exerting autonomy, and frequently regress to dependence and negativism to cope with the situation. Regression is a return to an earlier, safer, and more familiar behavior.

Sibling rivalry which is defined as intense feelings of jealousy between siblings is also often seen when an infant is born into a family with a toddler. The toddler perceives that the arrival of the new baby as a competition for the caregiver’s attention. The toddler also begins to fear loss of love or abandonment. Temper tantrums are also common among toddlers. These are outward explosive reactions to inward stressful or frustrating situations.

Dealing with toddler behavior problems may indeed be difficult. One important part of toddler discipline is limit setting or letting the child know what they are able to do and not do in a particular situation. These limits may be established by the child, adult caregivers, or the external environment.

But regardless of the methods used, it is essential that the caregivers teach the toddler the reasons for the discipline.

Click Here For Talking To Toddlers Best Deal Now!

About the Author

This author writes about Talking To Toddlers and Dealing With Child Behavior.

(ArticlesBase SC #1371656)

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/ - Talking To Toddlers - Toddler Behavior Problems

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


Monday, March 8, 2010

Conduct Disorder

Conduct disorder is a psychiatric category marked by a pattern of repetitive behavior wherein the rights of others or social norms are violated.
Symptoms include verbal and physical aggression, cruel behavior toward people and pets, destructive behavior, lying, truancy, vandalism, and stealing.[1]
Conduct disorder is a major public health problem because youth with conduct disorder not only inflict serious physical and psychological harm on others, but they are at greatly increased risk for incarceration, injury, depression, substance abuse, and death by homicide and suicide. After the age of 18, a conduct disorder may develop into antisocial personality disorder, which is related to psychopathy.[2]
The diagnostic criteria for Conduct Disorder (codes 312.xx, with xx representing digits which vary depending upon the severity, onset, etc. of the disorder) as listed in the DSM-IV-TR are as follows:
A repetitive and persistent pattern of behavior in which the basic rights of others or major age-appropriate societal norms or rules are violated, as manifested by the presence of three (or more) of the following criteria in the past 12 months, with at least one criterion present in the past 6 months:
Aggression to people and animals
often bullies people, threatens, or intimidates others
often initiates physical fights
has used a weapon that can cause serious physical harm to others (e.g., a bat, brick, broken bottle, knife, gun) (except for activities such as archery and hunting)
has been physically cruel to people
has been physically cruel to animals
has stolen while confronting a victim (e.g., mugging, purse snatching, extortion, armed robbery)
has forced someone into sexual activity
Destruction of property
has deliberately engaged in fire setting with the intention of causing serious damage.
has deliberately destroyed others' property (other than by fire).
Deceitfulness or theft
has broken into someone else's house, building, or car
often lies to obtain goods or favors or to avoid obligations (i.e., "cons" others)
has stolen items of nontrivial value without confronting a victim (e.g., shoplifting, but without breaking and entering; forgery)
Serious violations of rules
often stays out at night despite parental prohibitions, beginning before age 13 years
has run away from home overnight at least twice while living in parental or parental surrogate home (or once without returning for a lengthy period)
is often truant from school, beginning before age 13 years
The disturbance in behavior causes clinically significant impairment in social, academic, or occupational functioning.
If the individual is 18 years or older, criteria are not met for Antisocial personality disorder.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Conduct Disorder


Conduct disorder (CD) is a behavioral and emotional disorder of childhood and adolescence. Children with conduct disorder act inappropriately, infringe on the rights of others, and violate the behavioral expectations of others.


Children and adolescents with conduct disorder act out aggressively and express anger inappropriately. They engage in a variety of antisocial and destructive acts, including violence towards people and animals, destruction of property, lying, stealing, truancy, and running away from home. They often begin using and abusing drugs and alcohol and having sex at an early age. Irritability, temper tantrums, and low self-esteem are common personality traits of children with CD.


Conduct disorder is present in approximately 6–16 percent of boys and 2–9 percent of girls under the age of 18. The incidence of CD increases with age. Girls tend to develop CD later in life (age 12 or older) than boys. Up to 40 percent of children with conduct disorder grow into adults with antisocial personality disorder.

Causes and Symptoms

There are two subtypes of CD, one beginning in childhood (childhood onset) and the other in adolescence (adolescent onset). Research suggests that this disease may be caused by one or more of the following factors:

poor parent-child relationships
dysfunctional families
inconsistent or inappropriate parenting habits
substance abuse
physical and/or emotional abuse
poor relationships with other children
cognitive problems leading to school failures
brain damage
biological defects
Difficulty in school is an early sign of potential conduct disorder problems. While the child's IQ may be in the normal range, he or she can have trouble with verbal and abstract reasoning skills and may lag behind classmates, and consequently feel as if he/she does not "fit in." The frustration and loss of self-esteem resulting from this academic and social inadequacy can trigger the development of CD.

A dysfunctional home environment can be another major contributor to CD. An emotionally, physically, or sexually abusive household member; a family history of antisocial personality disorder; or parental alcoholism or substance abuse can damage a child's self-perception and put him or her on a path toward negative or aggressive behavior. Other less obvious environmental factors can also play a part in the development of conduct disorder; several long-term studies have found an association between maternal smoking during pregnancy and the development of CD in offspring.

Other conditions that may cause or co-exist with conduct disorder include head injury, substance abuse disorder, major depressive disorder, and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Fifty to seventy-five percent of children diagnosed with CD also have ADHD, a disorder characterized by a persistent pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity.

CD is defined as a repetitive behavioral pattern of violating the rights of others or societal norms. Three of the following criteria or symptoms are required over the previous 12 months for a diagnosis of CD (one of the three must have occurred in the past six months):

bullies, threatens, or intimidates others
picks fights
has used a dangerous weapon
has been physically cruel to people
has been physically cruel to animals
has stolen while confronting a victim (for example, mugging or extortion)
has forced someone into sexual activity
has deliberately set a fire with the intention of causing damage
has deliberately destroyed property of others
has broken into someone else's house or car
frequently lies to get something or to avoid obligations
has stolen without confronting a victim or breaking and entering (e.g., shoplifting or forgery)
stays out at night; breaks curfew (beginning before 13 years of age)
has run away from home overnight at least twice (or once for a lengthy period)
is often truant from school (beginning before 13 years of age)
When to Call the Doctor

When symptoms of conduct disorder are present, a child should be taken to his or her health care provider as soon as possible for evaluation and possible referral to a mental health care professional. If a child or teen diagnosed with conduct disorder reveals at any time that he/she has had recent thoughts of self-injury or suicide, or if he/she demonstrates behavior that compromises personal safety or the safety of others, professional assistance from a mental health care provider or care facility should be sought immediately.


Conduct disorder may be diagnosed by a family physician or pediatrician, social worker, school counselor, psychiatrist, or psychologist. Diagnosis may require psychiatric expertise to rule out such conditions as oppositional defiant disorder, bipolar disorder, or ADHD. A comprehensive evaluation of the child should ideally include interviews with the child and parents, a full social and medical history, review of educational records, a cognitive evaluation, and a psychiatric exam.

One or more clinical inventories or scales may be used to assess the child for conduct disorder, including the Youth Self-Report, the Overt Aggression Scale (OAS), Behavioral Assessment System for Children (BASC), Child Behavior Checklist (CBCL), the Nisonger Child Behavior Rating Form (N-CBRF), Clinical Global Impressions scale (CGI), and Diagnostic Interview Schedule for Children (DISC). The tests are verbal and/or written and are administered in both hospital and outpatient settings.


Treating conduct disorder requires an approach that addresses both the child and his/her environment. Behavioral therapy and psychotherapy can help a child with CD to control his/her anger and develop new coping techniques. Social skills training can help a child improve his/her relationship with peers.

Family group therapy may also be effective in some cases. Parents should be counseled on how to set appropriate limits with their child and be consistent and realistic when disciplining. A parental skills training program may be recommended. If an abusive home life is at the root of the conduct problem, every effort should be made to move the child into a more supportive environment.

For children with coexisting ADHD, substance abuse, depression, anxiety, or learning disorders, treating these conditions first is preferred, and may result in a significant improvement in behavior. In all cases of CD, treatment should begin when symptoms first appear. Several studies have shown methylphenidate (Ritalin) to be a useful drug for both ADHD and CD in some children.

When aggressive behavior is severe, mood stabilizing medication, including lithium (Cibalith-S, Eskalith, Lithobid, Lithonate, Lithotabs), and carbamazepine (Tegretol, Carbatrol, Epitol) may be an appropriate option for treating the aggressive symptoms. However, placing the child into a structured setting or treatment program such as a psychiatric hospital may be just as beneficial for easing aggression as medication.


Follow-up studies of conduct-disordered children have shown a high incidence of antisocial personality disorder, affective illnesses, and chronic criminal behavior in adulthood. However, proper treatment of coexisting disorders, early identification and intervention, and long-term support may improve the outlook significantly.

Conduct disorder that first occurs in adolescence is thought to have a statistically better prognosis than childhood-onset conduct disorder. Adolescents with CD tend to have better relationships with their peers and are less likely to develop antisocial personality disorder in adulthood than those with childhood-onset CD. There is also less of a gender gap in adolescent-onset conduct disorder, as girls approach boys in CD incidence. Childhood-onset CD is much more common among boys.


A supportive, nurturing, and structured home environment is believed to be the best defense against conduct disorder. Children with learning disabilities and/or difficulties in school should get immediate and appropriate academic assistance. Addressing these problems when they first appear helps to prevent the frustration and low self-esteem that may lead to CD later on.

Parental Concerns

A child with conduct disorder can have a tremendous impact on the home environment and on the physical and emotional welfare of siblings and others sharing the household. While seeking help for their child with CD, parents must remain sensitive to the needs of their other children and adjust household routines accordingly. This may mean avoiding leaving siblings alone together, getting assistance with childcare, or even seeking residential or hospital treatment for the conduct disordered child if the safety and well-being of other family members is in jeopardy.

See also Aggression; Oppositional defiant disorder.



Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th edition, text revision (DSM-IV-TR). Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Press, Inc., 2000.

Eddy, J. Mark. Conduct Disorders: The Latest Assessment and Treatment Strategies. Kansas City, MO: Compact Clinicals, 2003.


Black, Susan. "New Remedies for High School Violence." Education Digest. 69, no.3 (November 2003): 43.

"Conduct Disorder and Oppositional Defiant Disorder: Trends and Treatment." The Brown University Child and Adolescent Psychopharmacology Update. 6, no.8 (August 2004): 1+.


The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. 3615 Wisconsin Ave., N.W., Washington, D.C. 20016. (202) 966–7300. Web site: www.aacap.org.

Web Sites

Goodman, Robin and Anita Gurian. "About Conduct Disorder." NYU Child Study Center. Available online at: www.aboutourkids.org/aboutour/articles/about_conduct.html (accessed September 12, 2004).

[Article by: Paula Ford-Martin]
From www.answers.com

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Toddler to Now

From the time Cayle was born up until she was 5 years old, she would not sleep all night. She was such a rambunctious toddler and she is still that way. She started showing signs of ODD at the age of two. It wasn't just the terrible twos. I know...terrible twos, well she was much different, very defiant and having fits if she didn't get her way and even sneaky and lying about it then. She was so smart, saying her ABC's at 18 months old and talking so good at that age, but she had this terrible defiance and attitude as well. When she started Pre-K at 3, I got a call just about everyday that she was picking and being mean to other kids and telling the teachers off. I knew then that something was wrong with her behavior for sure, so that's when the Dr. visits started...and we are still seeing Doctors 10 years later.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Other Reasons To Think Your Child May Be ODD

Your discipline isn't working

Your child or teen laughs off your punishments

Your child or teen's behavior is getting worse

Your child or teen calls you names

Your child or teen's disrespect is getting worse

More Causes of ODD

By Rick Shaffer
Unfortunately, the exact cause of ODD is not known. However, there are several theories regarding the cause of the disorder. Researchers believe that the disorder may be related to:

• A child’s temperament and the family’s response to it

• A child’s social skills

• A child’s ability to communicate through language

• How parents discipline and understand the child

• The way a child’s body adjusts to arousal and stimulation

• Having parents who are overly concerned with power and control

• Disrupted childcare – involving, for example, multiple caregivers

• An inherited disposition to the disorder, possibly both environmental as well as genetic

• Neurological damage (such as a head injury)

• Prenatal and perinatal factors.

American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry – 202-966-7300; www.aacap.org – The academy’s “Facts for Families” series features two items relevant to families interested in ODD. Check out www.aacap.org/publications/factsfam/72.htm and www.aacap.org/publications/factsfam/discplin.htm

Rick Shaffer is an attorney and freelance writer who often writes on health and financial issues.
From www.parenthood.com

Diagnosing ODD

By Rick Shaffer
Because the symptoms of ODD tend to mirror common childhood and adolescent behavior, differing primarily in frequency and degree, recognizing and diagnosing the disorder can be difficult. In addition, similar symptoms resulting from other disorders can make the diagnosis more complex. For these reasons, it is important to have the child evaluated by a child psychiatrist, child psychologist or other qualified professional.

“To diagnose ODD, the disruptive behavioral pattern has to be significantly more intense, prolonged and frequent, and cause considerably more dysfunction when compared to children of similar age and developmental level,” Toppelberg explains. “Determining whether the behaviors are significantly different from what would usually be expected in a child at that age can be quite complex and shows how the developmental expertise of a child psychiatrist or child psychologist may be necessary to make an accurate diagnosis and effective recommendations.”

In addition, Toppelberg notes, “problems with the development of language or with learning may also fuel the negativistic and oppositional behavior, making the assessment even more complex.”

If a doctor suspects ODD, he or she will first:

• Talk with the child and with their parents.

• Review the child’s and the family’s history.

• Obtain information about the child’s functioning in school.

• Look for signs of other disorders in the child. (ODD may be accompanied by one or more other psychological disorders, further increasing the difficulty of diagnosis).

A diagnosis of ODD will not be made unless:

• The child displays at least four of the typical behaviors of the disorder.

• These behaviors occur more frequently and have more serious consequences than is typical in children of a similar age.

• The behavior symptoms lead to significant problems in the child’s school, work or social life.


American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry – 202-966-7300; www.aacap.org – The academy’s “Facts for Families” series features two items relevant to families interested in ODD. Check out www.aacap.org/publications/factsfam/72.htm and www.aacap.org/publications/factsfam/discplin.htm

Rick Shaffer is an attorney and freelance writer who often writes on health and financial issues.
From www.parenthood.com


Well, I got a phone call from Cayle's Principal Friday. She and another girl had words and Cayle hollered out and got suspended for two days. This is just another downfall for her in school. We are trying so hard to work with her and teach her not to lose her temper and get in trouble. The worst part is that it doesn't seem to bother her. She acts like it is nothing wrong with being suspended. I am going to the school today and talk with the Principal and see what we can do.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Some Ways A Parent can Help A Child With ODD

~Take a break if you feel you are going to make a conflict with your child worset
~Give your child praise when he/she shows cooperation

~Prioritize the things that you want your child to do, one at a time.

~Enforce limits...let your child know that there are limits to what he/she can do and let him/her know that there are consequences if he/she does not stay within these limits. At all times follow through with the consequences so that your child will learn not to do things that he/she is not supposed to do.

~With my own daughter, we have tried to get her to take a time out when she feels a need to explode or to start a conflict. This helps and we are still working on it, but try to explain this to your child. Explain to them that they can go to a safe place...their room, dog lot, etc. and take a few minutes to calm down and think about something good.

There are many ways to help your child, it's just finding the right ways and being able to help them and help yourself at the same time.

Friday, February 19, 2010

This Week

It was not a very good week. I got a call from the school today and Cayle has had quite a week all the way around. The Doctor said the new medicine would take about four weeks to totally kick in. She has been taking it two weeks and one day. I am praying that it will help her more than the other meds did. We are going to do some productive things this weekend and hopefully turn things around for her and get ready for a fresh start heading into next week. Will be back tomorrow for an update on how things are going.

Some Signs of ADHD

ADHD often accompanies ODD, though it can stand alone. Here are some signs of ADHD:

* trouble paying attention
* makes careless mistakes
* easily distracted
* loses things
* forgets to turn in homework
* trouble finishing class work and homework
* trouble listening
* trouble following multiple adult commands
* blurts out answers
* impatience
* fidgets or squirms
* leaves seat and runs about or climbs excessively
* hyper
* talks too much and has difficulty playing quietly
* interrupts or intrudes on others

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, ADHD occurs in an estimated 3 to 5 percent of preschool and school-age children. Therefore, in a class of 25 to 30 children, it is likely that at least one student will have this condition.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

What to do????

It is so hard when it is almost impossible to correct your child. A child that thinks he/she is in control is so difficult. I have to stay on my toes and see that everything my daughter does is not something that she shouldn't be doing. Talk about taking all your energy. Parents with ODD children are saints for making it from day to day.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Is your child struggling in school?

If your child is failing in school and think that he/she needs Special Education Assistance and you're told that they can't get it that's because ODD is a behavioral disorder and not an emotional one. This is according to the Federal guidelines for Special Education Classification and Services. Click Here for more info on IDEA. Special Education Services require an emotional diagnoses. Eligibility is often met when it is determined that a child meets both emotional and behavioral criteria for placement and services through Special Education. If your child does not qualify, Section 504 can be used. Click Here for info on Section 504 and what it is. Other alternatives such as this are sometimes difficult to implement because they are not funded. In order to receive services under Section 504, a child must first be determined to have a disability that substantially limits one or more major life functions, including education, learning, and behavior. You can submit a written request to your childs school and ask for an evaluation. Asking for help for your childs education and helping them learn and do better in school is one way that you can take a stand for their future. Some children, like mine, have a hard time in school, not because they don't try, but because they have something standing in their way.

Sunday, February 7, 2010


We have had a nice weekend. Pretty much snowed in and Cayle usually gets really bored, but we have kept busy and all in all it has been nice. Her new medicine will probably not kick in for a little while, but we are doing okay!

Friday, February 5, 2010

Raising My Daughter With ODD!

How many of you have a child with ODD(Oppositional Defiant Disorder)? I do and it is a struggle everyday. My daughter was diagnosed with ODD when she was three years old. Being independent and strong-willed is like having ODD, the difference is the tantrums, controlling, defiance and aggressiveness that goes along with ODD. A child with ODD has trouble making and keeping friends, they tend to do poorly academically, and they do not follow rules set forth by adults. My daughter seems to think that she is her boss and they no one should tell her what to do or correct her. I try so hard everyday to make her realize that she is a child and that she has to listen to authority figures. It is such a struggle getting her to cooperate and understanding that she has to give in and know that she has to live by rules. She is very kind hearted and loves to help people, but she doesn't like other people helping her. She wants things done her way. You have got to have a lot of patience with a child with ODD as mine are tested everyday. Doctors tell me that there is really no known cause for ODD and that I have to set rules and stick to them and get her on a schedule and stick to it. What I do with her is I find something for her to do like making receipts out for me or going through my inventory of things and writing it down...things to keep her mind occupied. When I tell her something that she should or shouldn't do, I always have to hear what she thinks about it...instead of just following along with what I tell her, she always has to come back with something. It is a struggle to cope with the defiance that she has. I know that everyday will be a test to see if things that I am doing to help her will really help her. You have got to show a child with ODD that you are in charge and try not to let your emotions get the best of you. I just sit and cry sometimes worrying about her and wondering if I went wrong somewhere. I love her with all my heart and I just hope and pray that I can do what is necessary to help her. I know that this is a struggle for her to and seeing your child be like this is so heart breaking. I just take it one day at a time and have faith that things will get better. I have taken her to so many doctors and it has helped a lot but I have realized that this is something that we have to be in control of. It is the ones that are around her all the time and the ones that have a personal relationship with her that have to be there for her. She is my baby and no matter what I will always be there for her and lead her in the right direction...She can't do it by herself. If any of you have children like this, I know what you are going through. It is so hard to deal with and I tell myself everyday that I can't give up. She depends on me...even if she doesn't think she does.

ADHD in Relation to ODD

Nearly half of all children and adults with attention deficit disorder also suffer from a comorbid condition such as anxiety disorder, depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, or even oppositional defiant disorder. It is exceptionally rare for a physician to see a child with only ODD. Usually the child has some other neuropsychiatric disorder along with ODD. The tendency for disorders in medicine to occur together is called comorbidity. Many conditions can accompany ADHD, so like with Cayle, testing should be done to see if there is another condition which may be causing your child's behavior so that all conditions can be treated. Like me, some parents probably think "Oh my child is ADHD, I will get my Dr. to put him/her on an ADHD medicine and all will be fine". This is not always the case. ADHD meds are great for the ADHD, but there may be something else wrong as well. If a child comes to a clinic and is diagnosed with ADHD, about 30-40% of the time the child will also have ODD.
Children and adolescents with ADHD alone do things without thinking, but not necessarily oppositional things. An ADHD child may impulsively do something to someone and be sorry for it. A child with ODD plus ADHD might do something to someone and say she didn't do it.
ODD is characterized by aggressiveness, but not impulsiveness. In ODD people annoy you purposefully, While it is usually not so purposeful in ADHD. ODD signs and symptoms are much more difficult to live with than ADHD. Children with ODD can sit still.

Mood Disorders in Relation to ODD

Cayle has been diagnosed with having a mood disorder which goes hand in hand with her ODD. Three of the symptoms of mood disorder are irritability, hostility and aggression. If you look at children with ODD, probably 15-20% will have problems with their mood and even more are anxious.


Cayle is a very bright girl. She can do whatever she sets her mind to, only it usually comes with some difficulty. She is ADHD which a lot of times accompanies ODD. She has a hard time focosing on things and really has to make herself stay focused. She is on meds for ADHD and just today started a new medicine for ADHD which also should help with her ODD. She is coming off of one medicine to try this one. Her Dr. is hoping that the meds, will not be permanent, but that is something that we will have to monitor. I can tell a difference in her with the meds. She still has her days and her "fits", but I have learnt and am still learning how to cope with it, as is she.

What is ODD?

If your child or teen has a persistent pattern of tantrums, arguing, and angry or disruptive behaviors toward you and other authority figures, he or she may have oppositional defiant disorder (ODD). No one knows for certain what causes ODD. It is usually noticed between ages 1-3. With children this young these behaviors are pretty normal, but with ODD it never goes away. ODD does run in families.

Symptoms of ODD

Some of the more noticeable symptoms of ODD may include:

Frequent temper tantrums
Excessive arguing with adults
Often questioning rules
Active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules
Deliberate attempts to annoy or upset people
Blaming others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
Often being touchy or easily annoyed by others
Frequent anger and resentment
Mean and hateful talking when upset
Spiteful attitude and revenge seeking

The disturbance in behavior must be causing significant problems in school, in relationships with family and friends and at home.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

My Daughter

I have had a long journey with my daughter having ODD, which is Oppositional Defiant Disorder. All children are defiant from time to time. In children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, there is an ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant and hostile behavior. Having a child with ODD is very hard on a parent. My daughter, Cayle is 13. She has been a hand full since she was little. I noticed the defiant behavior early on. She has been in psychiatric hospitals and is on medicine. She is seeing a wonderful Doctor. Some days are almost unbearable. It depends on her mood each day that determines if she is going to have a good day or bad day. As a mom, it takes all of my energy just to keep her on a positive track. Some days are so overwhelming. It's like walking on egg shells watching what I say to her so as not to set her off. I love her dearly and we just take one day at a time.